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Next Step Online Dating Your Questions

William asks…

Inexperienced dater & dating mistakes: no hug/kiss at end of date … next steps?

Hi there, I’m 20, and 2 days ago, I had a really great date with a guy that I initially met online. The way I ended it wasn’t so great, though. I was shy/nervous, having never kissed before (though looking back, I would’ve liked to), and I left the car without giving my date a kiss… or even a hug!!! The potential significance of this just fully hit me. We exchanged pleasantries, and I thanked him for the wonderful evening, and got my purse, keys, and cup from dinner and opened the door within seconds.

He complimented me on my nail colour when I had opened the door, and I thanked him for that, but I don’t recall if I even looked at him. I remember him at one point facing me with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other over the back of his chair. He had also offered to help me with my stuff, which I politely declined, because it wasn’t truly necessary. I am only just realizing that these were all likely attempts to make a move, which I inadvertently, and unfortunately messed up.

He knows I enjoyed myself, and told and texted me the same thing more or less that same night, and I responded by confirming the same. We’ve been in contact, and I think he’s still interested. I really want a second date to happen, but I initiated this first one, so I’d like to give him some time to ask me this time. However, I’m worried about how he feels about the lack of physical contact… there really wasn’t much during the date, and we didn’t really flirt either. He admitted that he’s still working on his intimacy shyness, though, and is very gentlemanly.

Should I address the lack of hug/kiss thing to reassure him, or let that slide and see what happens? I would be extremely disappointed to not see him again, because we really clicked and had a great time, despite the lack of touching/flirting.

It’s just that I’m very inexperienced, and this was my first official date (unbeknownst to him). i really just wasn’t thinking! Thanks a ton to anyone that gives input! :)

Mike answers:

You’re both inexperienced and he’s probably just as confused and scared as you are. It’s not the end of the world that there was no physical contact on the first date; that’s not a requirement.

If you like him, set up another date. Don’t play games by waiting around for him just because because you initiated the first date. If you’re too coy about it, he might really start to believe you’re not interested. Don’t talk about the lack of hug/kiss thing because talking about a relationship tends to make it awkward. Just go on another date; and this time, keep an eye out for opportunities to make contact.

Chris asks…

After a very nervous first date? Next step?

I had a first date with a guy last night. We met online and decided to meet up. Being a member of 2012, I googled him and found his you tube page. He had a few videos up. He seemed really confident, friendly and had the cutest accent. He seemed like a great catch.

We met up last night. I knew I was nervous. I figured he would be too. After about 15 minutes I started to get comfortable. He was nervous the whole time. And I don’t just mean nervous, I mean his leg would not stop shaking, he dropped his drink, his phone was shaking when he showed me a picture and he got tongue tied/cracked voice all the time. I’ve never seen someone like that ever. I tried really hard to break the tension so he would calm down because I really wanted him to have a good time too. I shared funny stories (we both laughed at each others jokes and stuff), we took a short walk for a change in scenery, I even said that I was nervous but glad we met. NOTHING. No change.

So now I can’t tell if he is just really nervous and has a hard time with anxiety or if the internet just completely lied to me.
Any advice?
And also, I really want to go on a second date still. Any suggestions for a place we could go that he may be less nervous.

Mike answers:

I get just as nervous as he does. It takes a lot of dates for me until I feel comfortable enough around men. Eventually, he will get comfortable enough, and he will be that confident guy around you. You are probably really beautiful, and he just couldn’t keep his composure. As far as dates go, I usually calm down buy drinking alcohol, but I am 25, and I can. I am not sure how old you are. He is probably really afraid that you noticed his nervousness, and you may need to make the next move. You could try doing something physical like a hike, that way his nervous energy can be released. Do not go anywhere where caffeine is available, because that will only make things worse.

Robert asks…

Living With My Online Girlfriend?

Basically, I’ve been doing online dating with my girlfriend for nearly four years. She wants to take our relationship to the next step by living together. However, she lives on the other side of the country and I am responsible for providing the resources for her to reach and live here, although I have no problems paying for it. I am currently a college student as well and thought that we would in an apartment together while I went to school and my girlfriend stayed home and acted the part of a housewife. Thus, my question is, is this a good idea? I was wondering if there were problems I should consider before pursuing this plan of action. I hope for some helpful opinions based on my current situation.

Mike answers:

Hmm what i think you should do is send her money so she can come live with you that way your plans dont get messed up and everyone is happy.

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