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Next Step Online Dating Your Questions

Lizzie asks…

Online (gaming) relationships [problems]?

Well… I should give a little information about myself before you all start to judge me and my problems..

I was pretty much a black sheep in my family. Whenever I did well, I was never praised, and whenever I didn’t do well, I was yelled at.
My family believed in isolationism and thus, I had to usually focus on schoolwork, and became somewhat unsocial.

Because of this, I’ve become a very sensitive guy. And I don’t want to repeat the mistakes they did to me..

Anyways.. I’ve started dating around 13/14 years old, because I felt like I have no purpose in life (or as you can say, an empty heart) and I wanted to find my significant other. I’ve dated in real life a couple of times, and have been rejected many times when I was 13-14 years old, and then 16. I was pretty sick of that so I resulted to online dating when I was 14.

When I was around 14-15 (my freshman year in high school), where I started online dating (accidentally in a game), I found someone who had alot in common with me.
And then I fell for her. However… she initially lied to me about her age (she was 10/11 then but told me she was 13).
I asked her out, and started to talk to her, and we became more than friends until the point where I wanted to really online date with her. This relationship continued till I was 16 (my 3rd year in high school) until I asked her if she would leave the game and join me in another one; she refused and so we broke up.

After a year passed by with a couple more failures in rejection and dating. I gave up and talked to her once again during my senior year in high school (age 17).
And once again, we dated, and bonded to the point where I forgot about everything else.
It was then that she told me when I first dated her, she was only 10/11 (but now she’s almost 15).

She told me about her past and I told her about mine. I felt by then that we truly had alot in common..
I really started to love her, and I promised her that I would meet up with her next summer (I live in the US and she lives in Canada).
We’ve bonded alot, and I really really fell hard for her… but as we bonded, a new problem came up.

However… I have a problem with trust, as I’ve been cheated a couple of times.
And I get a bit paranoid when she’s with certain guys (and I meant guys who are jerks to her, not guys in general). I wasn’t able to stand how they made fun of her, and how they often teased her.

——– Particularly there was one guy that is friends with her in real life and joined the game with her.
He would often be a jerk to her and i really don’t know how she reacts to that.. but.. problems came up with him and me and she chose me. However.. that guy became very stalkerish, harassing both of us, to the point where he confesses he loves her 2-3days ago.

She was confused and very angry at the same time, but still chose me over him

(i do not know whether this is actually true.. because even though she deleted him from facebook, and from that game, he was still on her friends list on msn.. yeah.. I snooped around..)

When I asked her, she told me she blocked him.. but I don’t know if its true..

I understand as much about myself that my childhood trauma made me become very sensitive to the world. But I’m really confused at what I should do, because I tend to overworry, stress, and such. ):

Also.. is it illegal to still date her once I turn 18 and she turns 15..?
I really, and truly have no ill intentions and I’m really devoted to her,
but theres’ a law that I was told of about not allowing to date like that…

Thanks for taking your time to read this. I really want you to tell me what you think I should take.. for the next step.=)
Yea.. this is a long problem .. i just felt i had to tell you what i was before and after..
The problem is.. mostly about trust… but i do not know how to react…

And I have no ill intentions to her. I promised to visit her,
and wait for her to become an adult before we can actually start to officially date.
I really feel like she’s my significant other.
Yeah.. I’m from california. I was putting alot of thought into my information that i forgot to put that in.
Oh. She’s from Winnipeg

Mike answers:

WoW that is a problem. Lol. But online dating is very tricky. You never know if you can trust them or not. The fact is unless you meet her somehow, your relationship can never work. And i’m pretty sure you already know that. As for the age, it depends. I honestly don’t know since she lives in Canada and i don’t know where you live lol. But i know in my state, the law is two years apart. But i think as long as it’s not a sexual relationship then it’s okay. I’m not really sure though.
Ummm… But i hope i helped a little at least(:
Good luck<3

Betty asks…

What is the etiquette for online dating?

I have been talking to someone from an online dating website for about 3 weeks or so, we have messaged each other at least 2-3 times a day sometimes more. I think we are communicating well and everything so what is the next step? Do i give her my number and kind of gradually get a little more personable maybe start with texting then a phone call here and there then eventually meet? I have never done this before so i could really use some advice, thanks.

Mike answers:

If I were you, I’d first give this person your number and txt them a little more than 2-3 times a day. Then I’d call him/her and say, “Hey I really like you, next time your in my area we should meet up!” Or something like that. But based on your personality, don’t go out of your way and change yourself just to get this person to like you.

Lisa asks…

How does a guy move past the emailing phase when talking to girls online?

I’ve recently started using an online dating site which, so far hasn’t been too bad. There are a couple of seemingly nice girls that I’ve been exchanging emails with but it seems like the back and fourth messaging is becoming more circular than linear. What is the “next step” after emailing for a little bit? And how does one facilitate this transition from meassaging to ,presumably, an actual phone conversation or date, or whatever’s next?

Mike answers:

Get the number… You can’t schedule a date over email. Plus what if she sounds like a man, you need to know that before you meet up.

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